I need You
This is why I journal. It’s so awesome to look back and see what the Lord has done in my heart. It is so blessed to look at all the prayers He has answered. Here is a journal entry from exactly two months ago that I have seen fulfilled in sooo many ways: (I’m pretty sure I was sitting by myself eating a cheeseburger at Chicken Oil Company when I wrote this. 
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“Father, I need You. Wake me every day with the words, “I need You” on my lips. I need You to purify this heart. I need You to make my heart whole. I need You to discipline, convict and refine. Will You come make me clean? If You are willing, Father, You can make me as white as snow. You can forgive me and redeem me. You can make me holy, blameless, righteous and pure. Father, I need You to come sift through the filth. Preserve me according to You unfailing love. Refine me like the gold. Cut off every branch in me that does not bear fruit. I want to be like You. I want to share in Your holiness. I want to walk in Your light without shame. Father, trade my shame and disgrace for a double portion and a delightful inheritance. I choose to detach myself from my sin. Sin is not my identity. Father, I stand before You guilty in my sin. I will not be justified unless Your Son takes this sin. I am dependent on Your grace. Your grace is my only means. I have no where else to go but to Your grace. There’s no other hope for me. I am hopeless and broken without a touch from You. Your grace, forgiveness and redemption in my life are a miracle. Father, make a miracle out of me. Transform me like You’ve done so many times before. I need You. I am nothing without You, so I will give You everything. I cannot take another step without You. Father, thank You for what You are doing in my life. My thankful heart will prepare the way for You. I fall on You. I fall on the cornerstone. I declare my dependency on You. Father, I admit that I need You. I humble myself at Your feet and lay bare my neediness. I will not be healed unless You heal me. I will not be satisfied unless You satisfy me. I will not be loved unless You love me. I repent for all the days I have trusted in myself or others and turned my back on You. Father, forgive me for all the times I blatantly rebelled and all the times I did not know what I was doing. I know that Your mercy and grace cover all my sins. You will cleanse me from all unrighteousness. Lord, don’t let me get back to a place where I have to be shocked into choosing You. I want to choose You even where the choices are plentiful. I want to need You just as much when I am strong as I do when I am weak. Your grace is always sufficient for me. I choose to tap into it. I love You, Father. If You strip away everything, I will still love You. If I never see my reward on earth, I will still love You. You’ve got my love, allegiance and commitment no matter what. Father, grant me a willing spirit. Create in me a pure heart, O God. I am flinging wide the doors to my heart to let You come in and work. You are my vinedresser. You are my source of life. I give You all that I am and trust that You will make me all that You want me to be. I need You, Father. I love You, Jesus. Make me white as snow. You will wash me white in Your mercy. It’s Your mercy that achieves my righteousness.”
