The looking glass
Over the Christmas break, I finished the novel Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. I have wanted to read this for some time, but due to its length (527 pages) and these little things called syllabi, I was unable to finish it until now.
In Chapter 24, Jane Eyre, a simple governess with a plain face, is talking with her master Mr. Rochester. Rochester has asked for her hand in marriage and is trying to convince her why he wants to be with her.
Rochester: “I will myself put the diamond chain round your neck, and the circlet on your forehead, which it will become; for nature, at least, has stamped her patent of nobility on this brow, Jane; and I will clasp the bracelets on these fine wrists, and load these fairy-like fingers with rings.”
Jane: “No, no, sir! think of other subjects, and speak of other things, and in another strain. Don’t address me as if I were a beauty; I am your plain, Quakerish governess.”
Rochester: “You are a beauty in my eyes; and a beauty just after the desire of my own heart, delicate and aerial.”
Jane: “Puny and insignificant, you mean. You are a dreaming, sir—or, you are sneering. For God’s sake, don’t be ironical.”
Rochester: “I will make the world acknowledge you a beauty, too.”
If you have read this entire novel, you know that Jane was an orphan raised by her unwelcoming and almost abusive aunt. Jane was never raised as a member of the family but rather as a tenant who lived rent-free. At the age of 10, she was sent to a charity school where the means were simple and the teachers were strict. After she graduated, she stayed as a teacher at the school, and then she became a governess at Thornfield Hall, which Rochester owned.
In Jane’s history, she had always been considered simple, plain, insignificant, forgotten, rejected and disowned. Her reality became shaped by the views of people she encountered. In sociology, this is called the “looking glass self” — a term meaning that a person’s perception of self is influenced by interpersonal reactions and the perceptions of others.
As I read that, I was struck by how often we try to convince people not to love us. At one point in the dialogue, Jane says that she believes that Mr. Rochester will love her for six months and then reject her. This woman was so marked by rejection that she could not believe that someone could actually love her.
How many times am I like that? How many times do I believe a false reality about myself rather than my true identity in Christ? How many times do I disbelieve that I can and will be loved by my Father?
Reread the dialogue from above and input your name for Jane and Father God for Mr. Rochester. Listen to how He marvels over you. Listen to how He thinks the world of you. Listen to how He loves you.
“You have stolen My heart, My sister, My bride; You have stolen My heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.” Song of Songs 4:9
Jesus, I choose You as my looking glass. With unveiled face, I reflect Your glory. I choose to believe that I am being transformed into Your likeness and not the likeness that I have created in my mind or that others have spoken over me. Because You see no flaw in me, I will reject the lies that I am undesirable, unlovable and unattractive. Your reality is the true one. Your reality is the real one. Your reality is the biggest one. Let Your reality be my reality.
