Summer 2011
This summer has definitely been a journey – a roller coaster at times and a stroll on the beach (literally) at times. Here’s a summary of a few aspects of my summer.
1. Uganda — Could I possibly sum up two of the most peaceful, fun, life-changing weeks of my life in a bullet point? We spent several months preparing for a couple weeks, and it could not have gone better. The best word to describe Gulu is “home.” Don’t hear me say that I plan on moving there. I am honestly not sure if my feet with ever walk those streets again. But at least for those two weeks, it was exactly where I wanted and needed to be — home. Life was simple, and following Jesus was simple. The fog I had been trying to get out of for months suddenly faded when I stepped foot into the Antioch office to head to the airport. Jesus brought some breakthrough and healing that I had been waiting months, even years, for while I was in Uganda — all in a small third story hotel conference room and on our balcony while the roosters crowed in the distance. Every morning, we strapped our Chaco’s onto clean feet and by dinner, they were once again covered in the orange dirt of Gulu Town. And it didn’t bother me one bit. I loved looking down at those filthy feet. I have never felt so spent for the good of others in my life, and I am coming to realize that dirty feet is what life is all about. I am coming to realize how selfish I am and yet so unaware of my own selfishness. You can’t help but realize something like that when you walk around in a village in the middle of the bush wearing shoes that cost more than the monthly wage of the people you meet, when you play soccer with little kids who don’t speak English using a ball made out of balled up grocery bags, when you are see the tears in the eyes of a woman as she recalls being kidnapped by the LRA. Selfishness is so ingrained into our lifestyle and culture that we don’t even notice it. Even now, two months later, I am blinded to my own selfishness again. I long to go to bed every night with sore, tired, dirty feet because I have spent myself for the good of others.
2. Reading — After reading 13 novels last semester for school, I was itching for some time to read something other than postmodern or adolescent literature. This summer brought a lot of that. I read and read and read. Each and every book was an experience that changed me and gripped my heart. Here is my summer reading list so far:
Victory Over the Darkness- Reading this for a second time was just as good, or better, than the first.
Choosing Forgiveness- So freeing!
Hinds Feet in High Places- I felt like I was reading my own biography. But alas, it is the story we all share.
The 3 Loves- This book showed me the simple obediences of loving God, loving others and loving the lost.
Supernatural Ways of Royalty- Wrecked.
Always Enough- I learned so much about my own poverty of spirit and how there’s always enough for me too.
Prisoners of Hope- My heart was gripped and stirred and encouraged.
The Supernatural Power of Forgiveness- This is a book similar to what I want to write one day.
Forgotten God- Convicting. I talk about the Holy Spirit much more than I walk with Him.
Radical- This exceeded my expectations. It was incredible. Go read it now!
The Help- I read this after seeing the movie. Eye-opening, hilarious and amazing.
Revolution in World Missions- I am still reading this, but I can’t believe it took me so long to open it.
Love Revolution- I am still reading this, but love — pure, life-giving love — seems to be the theme of what I am learning this summer.
3. Family — Let me just start by telling you about this boy who has stolen my heart this summer. From the moment he first said, “Kay-a”— which then turned into “Kay-wo” — and now “Kay-wa” — I was smitten. If I leave the room for one minute, I can hear him yelling my name. When he spent the night at our house, he woke up in the morning and immediately started looking for me and calling my name. I am probably just a tad biased, but I am convinced that my nephew is the smartest, cutest, funniest baby alive. And then my niece can be summed up in one word — precious. Most of the time she seems more like a baby doll than a child. She is so small and beautiful and sweet. She’s the little sister I have wanted since I was old enough to talk. I have had an amazing time with my parents this summer too. (Right now, they keep trying to talk me into staying at home “just one more night.”) They have blessed me in more ways that they realize. This morning, they woke me up saying they wanted to go eat and see a movie with me after they both got off work. And tonight, my mom tucked me in and kissed me goodnight. (Do I really have to go back to school?)
4. Hawaii — I barely had enough time to unpack from Uganda before I was back on another airplane and another and another. June and July brought more time traveling than I ever care to repeat. I went to Hawaii with my mom, dad and older brother. We spent two days on the island of Kauai before flying over the Maui for the rest of our trip. We shared many memories that I won’t soon forget. The food and entertainment were great of course, but I was just so blessed by sharing it with people I love and people who love me. And I met Bill Johnson!
5. Lessons learned — It would definitely take more than a blog post or a coffee date for me to explain all the lessons I learned this summer. All the places of confusion that were clarified. All the promises the Lord was faithful to. But the theme has been love. I am learning that what I called “love” was really selfishness, and the true, life-giving love of God is bigger and better than anything Hollywood can imagine. I am learning that sometimes love looks like changing dirty diapers when you would prefer to pass them off. I am learning that sometimes love looks like doing the dishes just to give your mom or grandmother a break. I am learning that sometimes love looks like silence. But then sometimes love looks like being a faithful source of encouragement to those who have none. Sometimes love looks like laying down your life for someone and getting nothing in return, and sometimes love looks like giving as much as you take and walking with someone. Sometimes love looks like turning your cell phone off for a few hours a day to take some time to be filled with the love of God and rest. And sometimes love looks like being there when someone just needs to be heard, just needs a friend. But at the end of the day, love must look like something. And that’s a hard revelation for a writer like me because words are my life. (I mean, who else has ever diagramed sentences as an act of worship?) But all my flowy words have done is deceive me into thinking I was loving someone well when I was really just looking out for myself and trying to get “mine.” The Lord has taken hold of my motives and is faithfully revealing to me when my “love” is a tool of manipulation and when my love is truly love — love that empties itself knowing that it will be filled again. Love is not afraid of lack because when you turn to Jesus, there’s always enough.
